let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
