It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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