Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
