I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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