i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
