yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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