I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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