I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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