i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
