'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Semen is not good for contacts.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
