I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
