I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
