My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
