just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
