dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
