Life is so much better after having sex.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
