I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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