turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this just has baby written all over it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
