dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
