he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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