Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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