Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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