UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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