plz talk dirty to me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
