it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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