I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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