Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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