I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
