they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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