Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
