btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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