So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Im part way to drunk.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
