it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
