He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The Olympian is in my bed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
