But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
