I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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