Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
