Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
