This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
