im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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