well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
