Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
