I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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