I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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