I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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