You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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