you guys were way drunker than both of me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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