someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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