what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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