So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
