so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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