Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
