I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
