ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
