First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize