Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
