he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
