You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
