Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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