I'm really into asian looking animals
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize