I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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