Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
