Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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