I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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