i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
