I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
