So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
