Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
