Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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