i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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