yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
