haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
