scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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