i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so let's talk penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
