i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
