I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's never too late to be topless.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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