hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
