put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
