why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
as a side note pls kill me
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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