I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
