I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
