I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
