Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
